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  • Writer's pictureShay L'Amour

The Jezebel Male

Updated: Nov 20, 2022

How to Recognize the Jezebel Spirit in Men

For the past couple of years, God has taken me on a rollercoaster ride in preparation for this message right here. Needless to say, this is a personal lesson for me. As I've been on my journey to get to know God better, He has been adamant about revealing the tricks of the Enemy. The bottom line is this: Satan has no new tricks and he loves to recycle schemes, especially if they have worked against you in the past. However, if you are unaware of the few devices that he uses, even those will be enough to derail you.

1 Peter 5:8 " Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

Have you ever seen a lion hunt before? For the past several months, I've spent a lot of time watching suggested hunting videos on Facebook. Don't ask me why. I just have. One thing I've noticed is that preys tend to be the most vulnerable when they have no inkling of a pending attack. I've also seen videos where preys seemed to figure out just in time that attacks were underway, and then escaped with their lives before it was too late. In the same sense, the enemy loves when we can't sense the danger ahead.

Hosea 4:6 "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge..."

As I sought the Lord for revelation, He answered me. In this instance, He lead me to the Youtube channel, "Anointed Fire", where Tiffany Buckner teaches on several different Biblical topics. Some of the understanding that I gained came from her teachings, so I highly suggest visiting her channel!

*Please see below for some of her videos.

With that being said, I spent a large amount of time in prayer and reading the Bible for myself, and I have confidence that the Lord has honored my efforts with revelation regarding the Jezebel Male. My particular experience comes from an ex-friendship with a young man. I was naïve in this friendship, but that’s where some of our greatest lessons come from. Given that this person helped me understand how to recognize The Jezebel Male, I will share certain aspects of my journey, while trying to maintain a certain level of privacy. Not all of the tea needs to be spilled, lol! Yet, I will share enough with the hope that my readers will be better equipped to detect the Jezebel Male when he comes along.

First, who was Jezebel? Jezebel was married to Ahab, an Israelite King, who was responsible for following Yahweh, the God of Israel. However, Jezebel was the daughter of a Sidonian king and a worshipper of the false god Baal. During her marriage, Queen Jezebel influenced King Ahab to lead the Israelites into Baal worship, which included erecting a statue for pagan worship. 1 Kings 16:32-33. If that weren't enough, Jezebel tore down the altar of the Lord. 1 Kings 18: 30. The Bible describes King Ahab as having done "more to provoke the Lord God of Israel than all kings of Israel who were before him." 1 Kings 16:33. Jezebel was no lover of God's people, as she was also known for killing God's prophets. 1 Kings 18:13.

As evil as Jezebel was, King Ahab was held responsible for his wrongdoings. As the prophet Elijah put it, disaster struck his country due to Ahab and his father's house "abandoning(rejecting) the commandments of the Lord and by following the Baals." 1 Kings 18:18.

All of this was done by a real woman in the Bible, so what is the Jezebel Spirit? This is the spirit that carries the characteristics of the woman Jezebel. Remember, we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but about powers and principalities. Ephesians 6:12. Although Jezebel died many years ago, the demonic entity still exists, and has appeared throughout the dating scene. It's also important to understand that although Jezebel was a woman, this principality is not gender-specific. It can be found in both men and women. With that foundation, here are a few ways to recognize the Jezebel Male.

1. You are a prophet or a prophetic person.

Understanding your assignment in the Kingdom of God is crucial. Whether you realize it or not, the enemy is always studying you and planning attacks according to what he observes. It took me a long time to realize this for myself, but in doing so, it has increased my awareness and even helped me to discern some attacks in advance.

Prophets and prophetic people can be distinguished by their sensitivity to environments. In the words of Tiffany Buckner, “they're wired that way so they that they can sense the presence of God.” This may sound a little familiar. The secular term for prophets or prophetic people is "empath". According to Merriam-Webster, “an empath is one who experiences the emotions of others.”

Empathic people are known to take on the feelings and emotions of the people around them in the same way that prophetic people can sense and are impacted by their environments. They have the ability to connect quickly and deeply with others. In the Kingdom of God, prophets and prophetic people can not only sense God’s presence, but they utilize their senses to respond to the Lord’s prompting.

So what does this have to do with the Jezebel Spirit?

1 Kings 18: 3-4 “...Now Obadiah greatly feared the LORD, for when Jezebel had slaughtered the prophets of the LORD, Obadiah had taken a hundred prophets and hidden them, fifty men per cave, providing them with food and water.”

During her reign, Jezebel destroyed the prophets of God. Unsurprisingly, the principality still seeks to do the same today. If your Kingdom assignment is attached to the prophetic, then the Jezebel Spirit’s assignment of destruction will be attached to you. It’s no secret that in the world of psychology, narcissists pursue empaths and often wreak havoc in their relationships. Spiritually, the Jezebel Spirit wants to eliminate God’s prophets, so that idolatry and associated sins thrive. Prophets and prophetic people have an important responsibility in the Kingdom of God to be “watchmen” for the church. Ezekiel 2:1-3:27. Put simply, the Jezebel Spirit wants to knock God’s prophets from their posts.

When he and I first became friends, I didn’t know who I was, nor did I know the dark principality at work in his life. It didn't occur to me that just as the narcissist seeks to destroy the empath, Jezebel seeks to destroy the prophet. From my ignorance, I learned the hard way. It wasn’t until after a while that I began to experience what I would later recognize as the manifestations of the Jezebel Spirit, and things finally began to make sense.

2. He refuses to repent.

In the Bible, God often sent prophets to correct people who were living sinful lifestyles. Famous prophets in the Bible, including Nathan, Jonah, Samuel, John the Baptist, and others, shared the important task of reprimanding people who were in sin, regardless of their statuses. During King Ahab’s reign, Elijah confronted him about his idolatry in following the false god Baal. 1 King 18:17-18. Among many things, prophets represent accountability. This is problematic for the Jezebel Spirit.

Revelation 2:20-21 “Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols. And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not.”- KJV

While addressing the church of Thyatira, Paul directly mentions the principality of Jezebel. At the time, members of this church were deeply influenced by this particular demonic spirit. As the scriptures point out, the Jezebel Spirit does not repent. Since this is a non-repentant spirit, it does not like correction, accountability, or exposure. Have you ever seen a narcissistic person flip out at the point of accountability? If so, understand that the Jezebel Spirit is the principality behind that response.

As I mentioned earlier, prophets have a responsibility to be on post. I can only imagine that Jezebel killed the prophets because she did not want the correction. Without prophets and prophetic people around to monitor and correct as the Lord assigns them, then idolatry and sin can flourish just as the Jezebel Spirit would have it. Put simply, unclean spirits hate being exposed, and prophets have a reputation for exposing uncleanliness.

So, what does this look like in real-life encounters? These are the men that could very clearly be in the wrong, and they will deflect, accuse, and avoid taking accountability. In my case, I tried to ignore the lies for as long as I could, because I wanted to focus on my friend's potential. It eventually got to the point where I just couldn’t do that anymore. I was experiencing so much stress because I wanted only to believe the best in him but to do that, I had to ignore what was clear as day before me. Eventually, I reasoned that because we were “best friends”, I should be able to have a conversation about any pain or discomfort that he caused me. This was before I knew what was lurking in his heart.

A quick accountability checkpoint turned into an outrageous argument, little of which made sense from his end. At this point, the lies were so obvious that there really was no question about them. He spent the duration of our friendship misrepresenting himself, even about matters as small as his middle name.

In closing the argument, he told me that he did not want to be friends with me because I kept “poking around”, which let me know that he was indeed hiding something. In hindsight, I believe that he was hiding the spiritual truth of his personality. More strongly, I believe that this was the manifestation of his Jezebel Spirit letting me know that it did not want to be discovered. This experience taught me that if there’s one thing the Jezebel Spirit won’t do, it’s admit to the damage it caused.

3. He is intimidated by your relationship with God./He seeks influence over you.

During Ahab and Jezebel’s reign, Ahab rejected Yahweh and willingly followed the Baals, the false gods, and prophets of Jezebel’s people. 1 Kings 18:18. This is plainly disobedient to the command that we shall not put any other gods before the only true God, Yahweh. Exodus 20:3; Matthew 22:37-38.

If a man has the Jezebel Spirit, he does not want for you to have your own strong relationship with Yahweh, and this will be evident in his actions. Jezebelic men don’t have to be self-proclaimed unbelievers to seek Christian women who will place their relationship with God on the back shelf. Some Christian men will want you to place them and their needs before God. Simply put, if you’re willing to allow your faith walk to be controlled by a man, then the Jezebel Spirit has found its match. If you haven’t noticed already, the Jezebel Spirit craves influence. This is more easily found with a woman who is not grounded in God and who does not place Christ at the head of her life.

Visualize this with me. Imagine a triangle where you and your partner form opposite ends of the base. Of course, God is at the top of the triangle. You both are connected at the bottom through your commonalities, interests, and more. The triangle isn’t complete unless you both pursue your individual relationships with God. That’s a perfect triangle. What the Jezebel Spirit seeks to do is encourage you to invest in your connection with it through the man, and join him on this spiritual journey. Instead of going up your own line to God(so to speak), you’re detouring over to your partner in order to get to God. This should never be the case. It is even more problematic because this Jezebel Spirit is not submitted to God, to even take you on such a journey. Therefore, neither of you will reach the top of the triangle. That’s a problem.

For months, I got to know this man very well and he talked quite a good game. In one of our early conversations, he preached that he wanted a woman of God. He wanted someone who could be a “good leading woman” in his life and who would be “more in the Word” than himself. In essence, he described a woman whom he could trust would be led by Holy Spirit on her own accord. Being that this was the first time I had heard a man say that he desired a woman with these qualities, I was inspired.

However, the Bible says that we will know a tree by the fruits it bears. Matthew 7:16-17. As his tree began to bear its fruits, they didn’t quite match the seeds he claimed to have planted. About a month later, he got into a new relationship. Being that I knew nothing about his new girlfriend, I assumed that she was the Godly woman that he had described. As we casually continued our conversations, the narrative of his new girlfriend took an interesting turn. Months into his relationship, he described her as someone who had not “had any guidance” before him. “We aren’t equally yoked.” In other words, he deliberately chose a woman that was not the “good leading woman” he claimed to desire. Rather, his attraction was to a woman whom he could lead down a lukewarm path. In essence, his girlfriend was the Ahab to his Jezebel.

It is common for Jezebel Males to have more confidence pursuing women who do not place God first because they are far easier to manipulate. Just as it is important for us to test the spirit, we must also realize that demons will test the spirit with us. One way that the Jezebel spirit does this is by seeking susceptibility. Although we had met over a year prior, our friendship began through an Instagram DM. When we first met, he shared his Bible App end-of-the-year review chart with me. He had racked up a pretty high streak, so I was very impressed.

Throughout the following year, I decided to push myself and use the Bible App more to attain a high streak for myself. It was one of the many things that I did to grow spiritually that year. By the end of the year, my streak was nice and high. At this point, he and I hadn't talked for a long time. Regardless, he crossed my mind, so I decided to reach out and let him know that he had inspired me to use my Bible App more in the past year. This was true because if it had not been for him showing me his streak, I probably would not have found this feature in the app back then. Well, he responded and struck up a conversation with me. We began to really get to know each other from there.

To be fair, his interest in a friendship with me was likely genuine. However, I truly believe that where the man thought that I was a kind person, the Jezebel Spirit thought that I was an impressionable person. In telling him that he inspired me, the Jezebel Spirit sought an opportunity to connect with someone who could be influenced. The man wanted to explore a friendship, while the Jezebel Spirit wanted to spend time checking to see if I had an Ahab Spirit. It may seem like the actual intentions of the person are what matters, but that is not the case. Without deliverance, those demonic intentions will be lurking in the dark areas of his heart, and they will eventually manifest. With discernment, you can begin to see them for yourself.

4. He uses your fear as an asset.

Ahab didn’t marry Jezebel for love. His marriage to Jezebel was for the sake of a political alliance. At the time, both Syria and Assyria posed a great threat to the kingdom of Israel. Out of fear, Ahab made a treaty with the Phoenician king, Ethbaal, through his marriage to Jezebel. Phoenicia was a strong kingdom, so Ahab agreed to make Jezebel the queen of Israel to obtain power, resources, and protection. By embracing this new alliance and the idolatry of the Phoenicians, Ahab made it clear that he was not concerned with honoring the God of Israel, Yahweh.

God did not give Ahab the spirit of fear that led him into talks of an alliance with Ethbaal. 2 Timothy 1:7. In actuality, God makes Himself available to be sought for guidance in times of stress and uncertainty. Psalm 32:6-7. Instead of seeking Yahweh, Ahab turned his back and began his cycle of dishonor because he was intimidated by the other kingdoms. From this, we can see that the Jezebel Spirit is attracted to fear. These men will often test for an Ahab presence by creating circumstances based on fear to get your response.

As I’ve mentioned before, Jezebels test the spirit to determine if they are dealing with an Ahab. Have you ever heard someone say, “I’m scared to lose him!”? The Jezebel male thrives from this mindset, and he will often test the spirit with you by intentionally hurting you and assessing your reaction. For a few months after becoming Instagram official with his new girlfriend, he kept me in his life. We were still friends that talked quite often. Despite this charade of a friendship, he was aware that I had romantic feelings for him and that moving on without proper closure was hurtful to me. In my experience, most men would cease to show any interest in a friendship at this point, but he did not. Interestingly enough, in his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Steve Harvey pointed out that men often will move on and hurt particular women in their lives because they are confident that these women will not confront them about their actions. My ex-friend... he moved with the same confidence that Mr. Harvey described in his famous book. And guess what... I allowed him to do so.

For months, I decided to sit on my feelings and say nothing about the discomfort and pain that his manipulation caused me. My reason for doing so was plain and simple: I was scared to lose our friendship. Acting from a place of fear, or rather choosing not to act, was the Ahab Spirit’s attempt to make me its host. By allowing intimidation to keep me from standing up for myself, he happily continued to keep me as his friend, because he was getting what he wanted: a backup Ahab. That ended the moment that I pressed send on the text message that addressed his wrong-doings. Ahab would never.

Discerning a Jezebel Male can be as easy as showing the man that you are not afraid to lose him. This is not synonymous with disrespect. Ideally, showing that you have enough self-respect and trust in God’s plan for you that will not allow a man to come and disrupt your peace due to fear, will communicate the message that you are not the spiritual companion that Jezebel seeks. When rejecting the Ahab Spirit, maintain the confidence of Romans 8:31.

5. He requires an idol sacrifice.

Anything that the Lord requires of you, the enemy and his demons are going to require it for the kingdom of darkness. In my devotional, Prize, Not Punishment, I discussed the dangers of idolatry. In essence, an idol is anything that you place above your relationship with God. As I’ve already mentioned, the Bible says that it is improper for you to have other gods before Yahweh. In other words, don’t allow something or someone to have so much influence over you, that you are willing to diminish your relationship with God.

Romans 12:1 “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”

The walk of a Christian is a sacrificial one. We are required to submit our bodies unto the Lord, which will mean turning away from fleshly desires in order to pursue what’s holy and acceptable. Why is this important to understand? If there’s one thing that you need to realize about Satan... he’s a copycat. In seeking to take God’s place in your life, the enemy will attempt to gain your submission in all of the areas where the Lord instructs you to submit to His will. Frankly, the enemy likes to distort the mission of Yahweh. When dealing with the Jezebel male, the classic example of this is fornication.

Revelation 2:20 “Nevertheless, I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophet. By her teaching she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols."

As you can see here, Jezebel specializes in sexual immorality. Oftentimes, you can detect whether a man has the Jezebel Spirit based on whether he directly or indirectly requires some type of sexual immorality in the relationship. This can look like many different scenarios. Demons need a legality to enter your life. Be aware that sexual immorality, including fornication, sex outside of marriage, masturbation, or any other form, is an open door giving the Jezebel Spirit permission to enter.

During the duration of our friendship, we discussed quite a bit about our past experiences. Although I will not share specific details about our conversations, I will say that he admitted to falling short of the glory of God in this area of his life. But from that point, he was determined to change his behavior and begin honoring the Lord with his body. At least, that’s what he told me. In believing him, I respected him that much more for his renewed mind.

However, within a couple of months after his change of heart, he reverted back to the sinful habits that he had sworn away. Admittedly, it took me some time to acknowledge what had honestly occurred. When he first told me that he had accepted his call to abstinence, I was amazed. Given that I was walking in abstinence myself, it felt comforting to bond with a man that was also on this journey. This was new for me. That, coupled with his flirtatious behavior, led me to believe that our bond had the potential to grow. After all, two people must agree to walk together. Amos 3:3. I didn’t hide my thoughts from him, so he was aware of how I felt.

Fast forward a couple of months and a new girlfriend later, he admitted that he had fallen off of his celibacy journey. I was surprised, but with careful consideration, I was not surprised. Before getting into his relationship with his girlfriend, he had spoken many things that lead me to believe that he desired sex, despite his celibacy stance. I didn’t think much of these comments, because it’s natural to want sex and I believed in the commitment that he claimed. Yet, it was no coincidence that the woman he chose to commit himself to had no desire to be celibate. In making this clear to him through fornication, she came into agreement with the sin required by the Jezebel Spirit within him, and therefore he saw fit to wholeheartedly pursue a relationship with her.

While accepting this, I offered myself many justifications that would still lead me to believe that he was a man of God, but the proof became too clear for me to overlook. I had no intentions to submit my body to sin for a relationship with him, and he knew this. So he sought another woman who would indeed satisfy the Jezebel Spirit with sexual immorality. After all, Amos 3:3. As I assessed our old conversations, I realized that one way that he tested the spirit with me was through inappropriate flirting to see if I would have been willing to concede my own stance. When the Jezebel Spirit realized that I wouldn’t, my friend moved on.

Although sex is standard, idol sacrifice can be sought in additional ways. In general, it requires a willingness to sin. As you study the Bible, identify the different areas of temptation and pay attention to the ways that the enemy will distort a call that you have to Yahweh Himself.

6. He love bombs you.

You might notice that the Jezebel Male is a master at weaponizing affection. In order to do that, he must first create an ungodly soul tie. Many times, the Jezebel Male will try to do this very quickly. The faster the soul tie is formed, the faster he can manipulate it. Just to reiterate, these motives may be hidden in the dark places of the man’s spirit, so he may not even be aware of his spiritual intentions. Therefore, discernment is key.

Unsurprisingly, the classic example of forming a soul tie is through sex. However, soul ties can be made in a multitude of ways. Think about it like this: Your soul is made up of your mind, will, and emotions. When you join these aspects of yourself with someone, the potential for a soul tie is present. Sharing your mind and emotions with someone else, and bending your will for another, deepens your connection with that person, and that’s where soul ties begin to take root. This can happen through a close friendship.

Personally, it wasn't until after my experience with my ex-friend that I realized that this was even possible. But now, it makes sense. I did consider him to be my best friend at the time. This escalated quickly because he told me that he considered me to be his best friend. It didn’t take long for him to express that to me, because the Jezebel Spirit wanted me to open to him immediately.

Proverbs 4:23 “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

When I stopped guarding my heart, the Jezebel Male had the opportunity to infiltrate it. I remember a night when he opened up to me and told me about some of the heartbreaks that he had faced in his life. Being an emotional event, I joined him in being vulnerable and told him about some of the romantic struggles that I too had encountered over the years. Soon afterward, we started trading the word “love”. In a healthy relationship, moments like this give you the opportunity to cleave to your partner and form a proper attachment. That’s not how it works with the Jezebel Male. For him, this is nothing more than a manipulation tactic. The Jezebel Male will open up with just enough information to make the woman feel comfortable enough to express her feelings, while ultimately hiding his true issues. Thankfully, prayer and discernment allowed me to realize that this was just another trick of the enemy, but it did cost me during the course of my friendship.

Let me let you in on a little secret... the goal of the Jezebel Spirit is for it to replicate itself through you. A successful Jezebel creates another. Shortly after he started dating his new girlfriend, his best friend slid into my DMs trying to get to know me better. This was before I was aware that he had moved on, so I was confused. After learning what had happened, it wasn’t hard to infer that my friend had encouraged this connection between me and his best friend. I can imagine many different reasons as to why he thought this was appropriate, but I can’t imagine too many reasons as to why his best friend would agree to such a thing when he also knew how I felt. Regardless, he did try, and I did keep a good amount of distance between us.

After the fight, it took me a while to begin the healing process. I’ll admit, this was not my finest moment. In my imperfection, I pictured all of the things I could have done to get back at him and the thought did cross my mind: I should have done to his best friend what he did to me. His best friend did try to pursue me, so I knew I had ample opportunity to flirt, manipulate, and then leave. Of course, I had no desire to do that while we were friends, and I did have at least some respect for Mr. Best Friend. However, my pain caused me to consider what it would have been like to become the Jezebel Female... and that’s what the enemy wanted.

Romans 12:19: “Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the LORD.”

Did you catch the distortion of God’s Word? This spirit wanted me to do the exact opposite of the above verse. I did repent of my wicked thoughts, and I’m grateful that I did not intentionally hurt another person because of my pain. This illustration is important because I am not the only one that has dealt with vindictiveness before. Yet, knowledge, understanding, and the willingness to chase after Christ’s example can help us overcome our destructive human nature.

We must be aware of how the Jezebel Spirit operates. As lovely as romance can be, it can prove quite ruinous in the wrong context. As I mentioned, “Anointed Fire” YouTube channel is a great source of Biblical teachings on how the Jezebel Spirit uses Love Bombing against people. Knowledge in this area is incredibly valuable, and I encourage you to attain as much as you can!

And here we’ve reached the end of this blog entry. I must confess that this was a very difficult post to write, but this has been part of my healing process. Although my experience with the Jezebel Male was no easy walk in the park, it taught me immensely about how the enemy will attack us through our connections with people. Now, my discernment is much stronger than it was years ago, and I’m grateful for that.

Sometimes, it’s hard to thank God for our down seasons and find the positivity in growing pains. But growing pains still lead to growth. To the man himself, he is still a brother-in-Christ, and one that I pray receives deliverance from this principality. As you begin to reflect on your own experiences, I encourage you to find the lessons that God has for you and be encouraged by the revelations that you receive.

Suggested Prayer:

Yahweh, thank You for the good times and the growing times. Your Word says that when we are weak, You are strong for us, so I rejoice throughout my relationship challenges because I trust that You are working on my behalf.

*2 Corinthians 12:10

Like Joseph, I will stand in faith that what the enemy meant for my bad, You meant for my good. After all, You know the plans You have for me, so I know that you are the best to trust them with.

* Genesis 50:19-21; Jeremiah 29:11

I thank You for the discernment to learn from my experiences and the courage to share them. I believe that there is a powerful testimony in the making, so I praise and glorify You in advance.

I pray for deliverance, grace, and protection over the man that has the Jezebel Spirit. May the power of this principality be removed from his life. I pray that he is led to a place of repentance and that he truly gives His life over to You. May he allow You to humble him and craft his testimony for Your Heavenly Kingdom.

In Yahshua’s name, Amen.

Anointed Fire Youtube Channel:

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